Everyone can get crazy about proposals, but when it comes to the length of engagement, debates may surface because of varying opinions. Some — probably the ones most eager for the wedding to happen — would say that having the wedding in less than a year is ideal. Others would argue and say that waiting far longer than that is more practical. If you’re the couple who’s torn between these clashing opinions, who should you listen to?
Of course, the length of your engagement should be totally up to you. It can be hard to impress your peers with your decision, but ultimately, the choice should be all yours as a couple; after all, you’re the one getting married!
But what if it’s you and your beau that’s having different opinions? If you prefer a long engagement and he doesn’t, or vice-versa, how can you convince the other to consider your request? Will you end up compromising, then?
The Ideal Engagement Length
Technically speaking, there is no right or wrong answer to what an “ideal” engagement length is, but there is an average length among American couples. The 2018 Real Weddings Survey revealed that duration to be 13.6 months. Among the couples surveyed, there were some who were engaged for only a month, and others who waited years.
When you’re still undecided as to how long you should be engaged, it would help to know the pros and cons of both short and long engagements. You may also consider how long you’ve been dating.
13.6 months may seem long enough, but some couples opt to be engaged longer. If you think you and your fiance should still get to know each other more deeply, then a long engagement may be better suited for you. Other circumstances may also call for a lengthy time frame, such as being at different places in your lives, either because of your careers or education. When you’re still in grad school and he’s already working a stable job, for example, you may convince him to put the wedding on hold until you’ve graduated.
Sometimes, a long engagement may also be unintentional. Wedding planning can take time, especially when you want to be wed in your dream venue. Reserving a spot on popular wedding venues can be a challenge, and you’re lucky if you can secure a date that’s only a few months away. But after that, you’d need to take care of vendors that would certainly demand a lot of your time. Squeezing in all of these duties in only a few months may stress you out.
You may also save more money in a long engagement. If you want to, you may skip the engagement ring first and opt for an inexpensive but high-quality promise rings for couples. These rings signify your commitment, fidelity, devotion, and your goal to head into marriage.
An 8 months or less engagement time frame is considered short. If you feel like you can get married anytime already, then why wait for long, right? If both of you already know what you want and are perfectly comfortable with each other, then a short engagement may just be suitable for you. A few months of allowance shouldn’t be a problem for you, too if you already planned your budget ahead.
A short engagement may also be the way to get your groom more involved. Since it’s usually the brides who do the most work during the planning process, she’d certainly need the help of her groom with only a little time to work on. If you think about it, planning your wedding together can be a form of bonding, although it may come with a lot of stress. But the brighter side of it is you can get your loved ones more excited about your wedding.
Bear in mind, though, that you’d be hearing negative comments either way. Don’t listen to them and just focus on making your dream wedding a reality. Whether you have only a month or over a year, what’s more important is that you’re finally getting married.